“I’m so worried!” “Are you stressed out”? Posts by frightened and frazzled humans flood the internet these days. The current political climate certainly isn’t fostering a general state of calm.

Is there anything new to say about stress—especially at this time? Well … yes, there is. A friend of mine recommended Stanford health psychologist Kelly McGonigal’s book The Upside of Stress to me last year. Over the summer (when I was less “stressed”), I gobbled it up, and I found some of her key ideas to be quite provocative—and ultimately helpful. If you don’t have the time or energy right now to dive into The Upside of Stress, read on for some of the highlights, and check out her famous TED talk “How to Make Stress Your Friend” here.

McGonigal explains “how the science of stress was born” by describing Hans Selye’s (1936) experiments with rats and the levels of torture they experienced so that he could test “the response of the body to any demand made on it.” These rodents were not undergoing typical day-to-day stressors that many humans do—they were exposed to intense exercise with no rest; they were blasted with loud noises; their bodies were flooded with toxic drugs, and some even had their spinal cords partially severed. McGonigal claims that Selye’s extreme experiments unfortunately set the stage for our “modern terror about stress.” No wonder.

Believe it or not, McGonigal claims that stress may not be as bad for you as you think. Challenging Selye’s “The-Hunger-Games-for-rodents” approach, McGonigal shifts gears to define human stress much differently, as a “biological state designed to help you learn from experience.”

With a powerful focus on “mindset” as a frame her book, she draws on numerous research studies to explain that our response to daily stressors ultimately determines its effect on our bodies, our minds, and even our mortality rates. She challenges traditional understandings of the fight, flight or freeze response to imminent threats and points to the ways in which the stress response actually helps us. Here are several positive ways in which stress might be leveraged to invigorate us, enliven us—and ultimately enrich our lives.

Stress pushes us to “rise to the challenge.” Because stress can focus attention, increase motivation, and mobilize individuals to action, McGonigal suggests that we can benefit from more positive mindsets as we grapple with the generalized state of anxiety we might feel (after reading or watching the news, for example). If we can view our nervousness (and even fear) as feeding a more attentive, energized, and attuned state of mind, we may feel more capable of addressing challenges with greater confidence.

Stress helps us “connect with others.” Studies show that stress responses can heighten prosocial instincts and encourage social cognition. If we feel isolated and overwhelmed, it’s important to listen to that little voice telling us to “reach out” and ask for help. Social networks, support groups, and volunteer activities can create the contexts and conditions necessary to face adversity— in community. More can be accomplished in groups when expectations are high and a sense of group support is palpable.

Stress motivates us to “learn and grow.” With greater knowledge of neuroplasticity (the brain’s adaptability and potential for growth), the stress response, however intense it may feel, was designed to help us restore nervous system balance and integrate new experiences into our neural repertoire. With each new challenge, our brains can learn and develop.

If Kelly McGonigal is correct, and “stress is a biological state designed to help [us] learn from experience,” how might we best respond today, this week, this year?


Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. —Victor Frankl

Powerful, right? Although I sometimes have trouble accessing this elusive gap in time, I find this quote inspiring and motivating. It moves me to remember to literally pause when I feel my throat tighten, my heart rate escalate, and the heat rising up through my body. With practice, it IS possible to learn to notice physiological triggers and to breathe deeply into the self-created “space” that Frankl celebrates—rather than falling into my typical knee-jerk reaction.

When a person’s words or a challenging event triggers you, what happens next? Do you acknowledge your bodily response? How do you slow down the chemical surge, interrupt the narrative in your head, and gain access to reasonable next steps? How do you learn to respond rather than react?

Accept—then act. Whatever the present contains, accept it as if you have chosen it. Always work with it, not against it … This will miraculously change your whole life. —Eckhart Tolle

This quote became a mantra for me during a period of time I spent in an intensely toxic work environment. Tolle’s call to “accept” our circumstances may seem almost impossible to enact because humans are wired to respond to potential threats to our well-being. In my situation, acceptance seemed far from what should be the natural response to a difficult job situation that left me with a dark, heavy sense of dread every morning at 6 a.m. However, my ongoing resistance to the dysfunctional climate was certainly not helping either.

I found that accepting (however reluctantly) also opened my eyes to my options. I could stay; I could leave, or I could carefully devise my “Plan B.” I discovered that acceptance wasn’t really surrender or even forbearance. It prompted me to notice and explore alternatives more meaningfully and realistically—whether in my daily responses to colleagues or in the bigger picture of my career trajectory.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. —Maya Angelou

As someone whose typical cognitive distortions involve “catastrophizing” (“I can’t believe this has happened!) and “personalizing” (“Is this all my fault? Did I bring this on myself?”), I appreciate being reminded that I actually don’t control everything. More importantly, Angelou’s words fuel resilience—the capacity to adapt and grow in the face of stress and trauma. When the going gets tough, there are many ways to respond and engage in what Anne Lamott calls “radical self-care.” Research-based strategies include engaging in physical exercise, reaching out for social support (online or in person), practicing mindfulness (www.mindful.org), employing strategies to foster distress tolerance (www.linehaninstitute.com), reappraising and reframing thoughts (www.beckinstitute.org), practicing self-compassion (www.self-compassion.org), and employing positive psychology practices to enhance daily well-being (www.greatergood.berkeley.edu).

No matter what daily strategy or tool you choose, the key is PRACTICING it regularly and consistently in order to capitalize on your brain’s plasticity—its ability to re-wire itself over time. Resilience is fueled by a commitment to yourself (not to be “reduced” by another person or event), but it grows and develops through the daily activities and practices you choose to put into action.